Monday, June 4, 2012
So Adin and I have gotten a lot closer over the past few weeks. He is such an understanding person and I love it. I told him I wasn't ready to be in a relationship, and even though I told him not to he said he is going to wait for me. When I'm with him my mind goes blank, and I can just relax. I've never had that. It is so amazing to be able to just be myself with someone. I need more time to myself though before I try to be in another relationship because my feelings for Ben are still very strong. I saw my friend Katie the other day and she said that he still texts her all the time....that hurts. But then again I hurt him by leaving him. Whatever.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
I seriously just think I am supposed to be alone. No one makes me happy, or gives me butterflies... Relationships aren't supposed to be something you stress about or think about so much that you second guess yourself every day. So, I guess I will just stay single. I keep wanting to give people a chance because I feel as though they deserve one. But it always ends up with them falling in love with me, and me feeling nothing. The only exception was Ben. But he deserves better. Someone that doesn't second guess themselves, or worry about stupid crap. Someone that will love everything about him, and not want to change him. I don't think I will ever be able to get over him to be honest. There will always be a place in my heart for him, and I hope he knows that. I just hope he finds someone better. I want him to be happy.