Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Ultimate Failure

I am going to send out for my license sometime soon, but I can't help but think negatively about the test. I have failed so many things in the past year, that I have no hope left. I failed classes at Husson that I worked really hard at, I failed my permit test the first time I took it, and I failed my relationship. My positie outlook on life keeps dwindling. I'm hoping that some well needed time with my love will help my spirits. We both seem to be going through some frustrating times, so some quiet time with each other should help.

I need to go pack a suitcase for a couple days, but I don't seem to have any motivation today. I'm still nervous about spending time with Ben after I moved out. All of my friends told me that our relationship was unhealthy, and that I need to just remove him from my life. I tried not talking to him for 3 weeks, and every night I would dream of him. I couldn't just forget everything we had whether it was good or bad. I'm still not even sure if I have forgiven him, or myself. I love him...more than anything. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I don't want to be away from him right this just the honeymoon phase? How long will this happiness last? I know I shouldn't think so hard about it, but I can't just ignore it. I guess we will see what happens.

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