It has been a very long time since I have been this sick. My whole body aches, and my throat is slowly getting worse. This is so not fun. I have to lay in bed alone and do nothing all day. I just wish Ben was here to cuddle and sleep with me. His arms around me would make everything feel so much better. I know I shouldn't complain about not seeing him. I mean, he's working and I just don't have a life. I need to get over it and stop bugging him. It's just things have been quiet around here, and I really miss him. It's still so crazy to me how the tables have turned over the years. I went from pushing him away, to dragging him closer. Haha. I am so crazy...especially when I'm sick. I just hope I'm not scaring him away. This is gonna sound stupid, but I still feel like something has changed between us. It's really scaring me because I can't figure out what it is. I just don't feel the same way when I'm with him...but I know it's not me. It's something about him...but I have no idea what it could be. Maybe I'm just crazier than I thought.
On a different note, I got a message from Kaylee tonight. It drives me so crazy to hear how her family treats her. They make fun of her for being gay, and put her down constantly. Even when she points it out to them, they just shove it aside like she doesn't matter. I'm the only person she has that supports her no matter what. No one sees what I do. She's made a lot of mistakes in her life, but who hasn't. At least she learns from them. That's more than I can say for most people. People need to learn respect.
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